Grandson

I’m too busy playing with my grandson to post anything. I will return eventually.

Yippee skippee!!!!!

I am now officially in menopause. A year without periods. I would do the happy dance but I’m having a hot flash! LOL

I am now also an expectant grandmother. Our first grandchild is due in December. That definately calls for a happy dance regardless of hot flashes!

I am concentrating on keeping my heart open while my husband and I go through this transition. We want to move from our big house to a smaller one, since it’s just the two of us now, so our house is on the market and we wait for someone to buy it.  Not fun.

My mother is doing very well. The mastectomy went well and she is healing nicely. She has an appointment with her oncologist this afternoon. Everyone is very pleased with her good recovery.

With an open heart (most of the time), alm

My mother.

My mother had a mastectomy this Monday as well as a port implanted for chemotherapy. Now that the tumor is gone the chemo can be more effective on the cancer that has spread to others parts of her body. She also will be more comfortable without the daily care of the tumor. She came through the operation well and was able to come home today. She wants me to thank everyone for the notes, cards, thoughts and prayers. She was resting comfortably when I left this afternoon. She hopes to be on her feet again soon and playing her guitar and singing. Aside from being tired she is in good spirits. The nurse said she’s a wonderful woman and I agreed.

INPERMENANCE.

“Whatever begins, also ends.” Seneca

Nothing is permanent. Every moment is changing. When we embrace change, we can let go of the illusion that we control change. Each in-breath is a chance to begin again. Each out-breath a chance to let go. We cannot hold onto a second. It is here and then gone. By relaxing into the flow of life and the changes that constantly arise, we maintain our equilibrium.

Keeping one’s heart open through impermanence can be a challenge, but one we can meet with compassion and mindfulness. Once we realize that life is always changing we can settle into it and relax. We can observe it as it arises and release it when it flows past. Change isn’t something to be feared or avoided, forced or resisted. It is the very essence of life.

As we grow older (if we are mindful), we begin to see the patterns of our life, we have the opportunity to observe how we act and begin to understand why we are the way we are. Through meditation and mindfulness we have the opportunity to compassionately notice our own thoughts and actions.

If we soften our inner heart, we can forgive ourselves and through forgiving ourselves find the compassion to forgive those around us for being too human, for not measuring up or disappointing, for wanting and rejecting and ignoring. We can stop being so hard on ourselves and on others. “In a nut shell, when life is pleasant, think of others, when life is a burden, think of others.” Pema Chodron.

With an open, soft heart we can let the impermanence of life flow around us without having to try to hang onto the things we label “good” or reject the things we label “bad”. It is all just life as it is. We can notice and let it be.

Instead of thinking of the “good old days” (usually with imperfect memories), we need to accept the world as it is presented to us in this moment. We have to opportunity to alter our perception of reality. We are but a wisp of cloud here for a brief moment and then gone.

“ Rushing things and forcing things isn’t necessary. Life happens best when you just let it.”

With an open heart I wish you peace, alm.

 

 

Waking up.

This year I have chosen the theme ‘heart’. The idea is to keep our hearts open and be truthful with ourselves and with others. I mean having the courage to stay in the present moment and speak the truth of our lives to others and to ourselves. To truly know our own hearts and by knowing our own hearts we can understand and have compassion for others.

Much of our lives are spent trying to perfect our persona, our image of who we are or who we want others to think we are. Often we create a mask to hide our true selves from others, as well as ourselves. This persona/mask/shield is difficult to maintain and difficult to dismantle. My goal in this experiment is to let go of the persona and explore my real heart, my real self at the core.

We need to start with ourselves, because it may be the hardest part. If we can’t be honest with ourselves how can we hope to be honest with others? By staying in the present moment, keeping our attention on what we are doing and what we are thinking, we notice our own patterns of behavior and responses. When we really pay attention to what we are thinking, we notice the thoughts and feeling that continually churn up in our heads. By noticing our actions we can begin to understand our habitual responses to our world.

By knowing ourselves and having compassion for the things about ourselves that we usually reject, by making friends with who we really are, we can come to a place of compassion first with our own failings and then we can have compassion for the failings of our family and friends. This eventually spreads out to the people we interact with but don’t know well and eventually to people we don’t know at all and then to people we reject entirely. The goal is to show compassion in all we do.

This year we can experiment with living our lives with awareness, paying attention to how we act and what we think about. When challenges come we can use them as a way of noticing how we act and react. In this way we can begin to really understand ourselves. By noticing what parts of our personality we reject, we can have the compassion to embrace less attractive parts of ourselves. In this way we learn to have compassion for those around us. We begin to see that we are all flawed beings who don’t always live up to our own ideals. We forgive ourselves for not being perfect and this opens our hearts to forgive others for not being perfect either.

This experiment can teach us to awaken our hearts, slow down enough to notice what we say and what we do. As we learn to be kinder to ourselves, we learn to be kinder to others. When we treat ourselves with gentleness we open our hearts to treat others with that same gentleness.

“This is a very important practice. Live your life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.” Thich Nhat Hanh

With an open heart, I wish you peace, alm

FRESH START WITH AN OPEN HEART

“If you want to sail your ship in a different direction, you must turn one degree at a time.” Brian Tracy

At midlife we can reevaluate our lives. Given the long life possible today we have a chance to choose an entirely new path for the second half of our lives. We can let go of what we have been and start today to walk in different direction, one step at a time. We have the ability to begin anew. We can choose to awaken from habit and live in full awareness, with mindfulness which Pema Chodron defines as “a sense of clear seeing with respect and compassion for what it is we see.”

“The spiritual journey is not about heaven or finally getting to a place that’s swell. In fact, that way of looking at things is what keeps us miserable.” Pema Chodron

As an atheist I don’t believe in either heaven or hell. I believe all that we have is this one life. When my life is over, it’s over, done, finished. Because of that I want to make the best of this one and only life. I want to be the best person I am capable of being. All I have is this moment. All any of us has is this moment. If we are not present in this moment, we miss the one and only life we have.

Everyday is a new beginning. Whatever came before is gone. I can do nothing about it. I can’t change yesterday. I may not be here tomorrow. All I can do is what’s in front of me, right now. All I have is right now to act, to be and to do. Whatever your beliefs, that’s all any of us really has. Life is one moment at a time.

Life is always in transition. Change is the only constant. So right now, today, this minute, with this breath, we get a fresh start. A new beginning. We can stop clinging to yesterday or chasing the illusion of ‘someday’. Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. We have the chance every day, with every breath, to begin again. Isn’t that wonderful?

With an open heart, I wish you peace, alm